TV Shows/Movies SHE Made Us Watch

TV is something we do less of nowadays. In between work, blogging and community service (the voluntary type) a brother does not have the time to catch up on the latest Family Guy episodes. Plus everything is mobile and online now, so we no longer have to rely on the big box as our information and entertainment hub. With all this, I still find the biggest blocker between men and the idea of us actually enjoying TV is the lack of programmes worth watching. Everything north of Channel 5 and south of Sky Sports is either repeats or something targeted to the fairer sex. Cinema is just as bad, as for every Transformers, X-Men and Hangover movie we have had thousands of Rom Com releases; which can be painfully frustrating since I spend my Wednesdays forwarding half price ticket codes to Maverick to entertain whichever random female he decides to impress by showing his ‘romantic’ side.

Contrary to the male opinion some chick flicks are bearable. No seriously it’s okay for dudes to enjoy an episode of Clueless and not keep using Stacey Dash as an excuse. Some chick flicks/programmes are not as erm…moist as you may think.

*This was the point where Don Kwelu began to question my masculinity, yet he still fails to explain what the Legally Blonde DVD was doing on the Kitchen table in his flat* See it even happens to the best of us.

Now in order to avoid being cornered into a box of liking chick flicks, I think it is fair to rate the programmes and films more targeted to women on the Moist scale of 1 to 5. One meaning bearable to the point that you could tell the lads and barely get any movement around the eyebrow area, meanwhile a Five is guaranteed to get the Spock treatment.

The Notebook: *****

This is the Mohammed Ali of Chick Flicks, which Carlsberg couldn’t make if they tried. I remember my ex missus suggested we watched this after recommendation from her mates. All the way through out she was trying to spot any signs of me going through an emotional rollercoaster. Unfortunately for her, 99% of the movie was a cliche love story between two people divided by their social class, so my reaction was “Typical”. But I must say the twist at the end was unexpected and quiet emotional if you’re that kind of dude. Me? My eyes were merely reacting to the Vicks Vapour rub applied to overcome a cold I had at the time.

Sex and the City (The Movie): ***

Let me not lie and say I didn’t watch the TV Show….I did…on occasion…like 4 or 5 seasons times. It was well written, had good character and well…sex. However when the movie came out it was time to make a decision; you see watching the TV show made me appreciative, at the very most an admirer…but watching the movie would make me a FAN. I stayed appreciative until SHE asked me to take her to see it…sigh. What followed was two hours of undeniable whackness, my emotionless face was surrounded by over-excited women who did the right thing and brought their female friends….never again.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians: ****

There’s a reason why we memorise our favourite channels on sky, it’s so we avoid shows like this. When you flick through the channels on sky it’s like a game of Russian Roulette, sometimes you get lucky and come across Come Dine With Me, Two and A Half Men , Dexter or Entourage but sometimes you land on Gossip Girl, 60 Minute Makeover or Keeping Up with the bloody Kardashians. If you land on these shows whilst with your missus, its a wrap. Eye candy can only sustain for so long, avoid at all costs!

Titanic: ***

Growing up I began to count the amount of times my mother and aunts forced me to watch this movie with them. To be honest, if it wasn’t for the CGI and the fact that it was directed by James Cameron I would have given this 5 * moisture. A typical scenario after Titanic:

Girl: “Would you do what Jack did for Rose at the end?

The answer is usually no. I truly believe where our partners and mothers saw a sweet man offering his life to his woman. We saw a brother who realised that his homeless status could not house him, Rose and the baby he most probably impregnated her with and took the easier option. *Fears of Fatherhood*

Love and Basketball: *

Though a type of movie targeted to women, Love and Basketball does well to incorporate the universal like in all men, sports. Add the addition of a woman playing said sport in a pretty good movie overall and you have the perfect combination for a couple’s movie. It’s a story you can relate to and there is no cheese whatsoever; not to mention eye candy for both the man and the woman. Don’t be surprised to know that a lot of men have this in their DVD collection, and out of all 7-8 black movies we all seem to have in our collection (post coming soon), a favourite amongst most women.

Glee: ****

Invented for musical lovers, women and Dale Winton, Glee is the proverbial TV phenomenon that just won’t stop #winning. Forced to watch half an episode by my friend when at her house I could understand why it was popular amongst gleeful women and men but to me it was just another High School Musical and I didn’t watch that either…mainly because I’m a grown ass man. If I wanna watch renditions of popular songs I’ll buy a Michael Bolton CD. To this day when I see a brother put on his BB status “Time for Glee!” followed by a ‘yay’ emoticon, I shake my head.

Ghost: *

That scene with the pottery and the hands, they don’t make cheese like that anymore

ANTM: ***

I think the show’s on season…I’m sorry cycle 468 now right? Cycle 2 should be the drawing point for a brother outside of the fashion designer/modelling industry/TV production industry. After the eye candy and systematic wonders of whether Tyra and Rihanna would cause an earthquake if they head-butted each other, it’s pretty much just women posing for Tyra’s pleasure, not the most interesting concept for brothers. Yet there’s always one brother who gets home just in time to see who is still “in the running to become America’s Next Top Model”.

PS: I Love You: **

The title is cheese but the movie is surprisingly decent. Of course the idea of a man writing hundreds of letters to his wife in the wake of his impending death is a brilliant one but it’s an extreme and unfortunately we can’t all do it. Yet as soon as you decide to watch this movie with her, SHE will ask you the single handedly most annoying question in the world
“Why don’t you do things like this for me?”
To which you should reply “you’d have to kill me first”….technically that’s true.

Of course when it comes to watching these movies/shows with our counterparts, there’s nothing we can really do as I’m sure they have to compromise when we are watching Footie, The Wire, Footie, The Sopranos, Footie and more Footie. All is fair in love and the remote, just be aware of the fine line between watching for the enjoyment of company with a girl and watching for the future enjoyment on lonely friday nights.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Desperate Housewives, Gossip Girl, Waiting to Exhale, Grease, Dirty Dancing

Anymore we missed out?

The Yak and JC

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